The world has no shortage of annoying people. There are some people whose only purpose of existence seems to be to annoy you. Words don’t suffice when it comes to abusing these people and that’s where your middle finger comes in handy.
Here are 15 situations that call for the middle-finger salute:
1. The Sunday morning ‘wake-up’ friend: “Bhai uthja, 6.30 AM already. Kitna soyega! Bhai?”
Yes, after working late on Saturday, that is exactly what I need.
2. The friend at a party: “Ye kya pehena hai? Kuch aur nahi tha? Why would you wear this.”
To not be naked, obviously.
3. The friend who works out: “Abbey tu kitna patla hai yaar, ajeeb nahi lagta tujhe?”
Maybe you should lift dumbbells with your head once in a while. Exercise those brain muscles!
4. The rich friend who comes home: “Bas? Ghar toh shuru hotey hi khatam. Kaise rehte ho?”
3 people in a 3 BHK. It’s a tight fit but somehow we manage.
5. At a family function: “Beta aap kaale ho rahe ho. Thodi fairness cream lagaya karo.”
Why don’t I put some on your eyes so that the entire world seems fair to you?
6. The animal haters: “Aap apne kutte ko hamare gate ke bahar se matt lejaya karo. What if he pees on the road?”
Okay, maybe I’ll install a commode for him in the loo.
7. The judgemental type: “Really? You have a crush on her?”
Maybe you should date some ‘sanity’ for a while.
8. The funny ones who can’t take a joke: “MERA MAZAAK KAISE BANAYA!? Tu toh hai hi mota, par mujhe kaise bola tune?”
You deserve not one but two middle-finger salutes!
9. The comparing type: “Usko dekh kitna succesful hai. Why can’t you be more like him?”
Sure. ‘Cos anything that will make me less like you would do.
10. The racist friends: “Bhai, woh hamare level ka nahi hai. Why do you talk to him?”
And what do you follow? Stupidism?
11. The non-replying type: “So are we meeting for lunch like you said?” “You there?” “I cancelled my meeting.”… No reply
If only there was an appropriate emoticon that could I send as my final text to you.
12. The complaining type: “Namak kam hai. Oil zyada hai. Ice cream bohot thandi hai yaar.”
Maybe it made your mind go numb as well
13. The ones whose kids were supposedly adult by birth: “Aapka beta bahaut khelta hai. Aapke bete ki ball hamare chhat pe aagayi. Kaisa beta hai? Don’t encourage him. Bolo padhai kare bas.”
So was your kid ever a toddler or was he 40 when he was born?
14. The job comparing type: “Yeh kya naukri hai? I earn this much in a week.”
So they really pay you to be an idiot?
15. The know-it-all-who-really-doesn’t-know type:
“I know. I have been to the Bermuda triangle. I know everything about it. The roads there are beautiful.”
If you would have really been there, everyone would have been happier.